Un-miffed. Part 2.

I'm back. Sorry to leave so abruptly last night. I have a ten-month old with a double ear infection. A ten-month old who awoke six times last night between the hours of 1 a.m. and 5 a.m. A ten month-old who has been sleeping through the night since four weeks old. I knew something was up because he was.

So one wild and hairy day later filled with a drive to drop off my (currently) healthy four year old and two year old at Nonnie's, a visit to the doctor's office and countless squirts of Germ-X; I'm back home and back to give you the rest of the story.

So to recap, I'm struggling to find my mustard seed. It's there. I know it is. I can feel it. In fact, I can almost see my  boys running through that house, scarring up the floors, nicking the paint, ruining new pairs of jeans in the yard.

But I am struggling. Is it okay for me to believe that God will give me THIS desire of my heart? Do I dare expect Him to act on my behalf for something so selfish? This is the question I asked my husband. You see He's a realist. Well, he says realist, I say he's a pessimist. He points to all the things God IS NOT doing as evidence that this may not be His will for our lives. I point to a dialogue I had with God..in my head. I can't say I blame him for wanting more proof. (By the way, my love advice? Date someone you can be in love with sure, but marry someone you can be in life with. I found one; he's a keeper!)

We decided to look to Scripture to see how faith works. What can we hope for?

My beloved points to Hebrews 11. This hallmark of faith testifies to those who believed God. My beloved points out wisely that many of these super saints received a promise. They believed in something God told them. They had an encounter with the Living God and received a promise or command from Him.

So does what I heard from God constitute a promise? I decide I'd better keep digging.

I look to the gospels. Over and over Jesus either commends individuals for their faith or shames them for their lack thereof. Many of the individuals Jesus healed were healed because of their faith. Presumably they had had no prior interaction with Jesus before going to see Him. They believed in Jesus' capacity to grant their hearts' desires.

Where does this leave me? Why am I un-miffed? Well here's where I am today. And because this seems to be a sort of gray area in Scripture I reserve the right to feel differently tomorrow. But today, well today I've decided the only reason not to believe God for my heart's desire is to protect my heart from disappointment.  So what if I'm wrong?

You see what I know to be true about God WILL NOT change if He doesn't answer my prayer. His ways are perfect. His timing is without flaw. Unfathomably, He loves me more than I love myself. He purposes only good for me. I will not be moved from what I KNOW to be true about God. Experience doesn't trump Scripture. Period.

So it's a no lose situation for me. Either God answers my prayer or I learn more about His character and His purposes for my life. Until God tells me something different I'm going with what I heard. Hearing the voice of God isn't as hard as believing we've actually heard the voice of God. So today I want to tell you I heard God. What I heard I believe.

How about you? Have you heard something from God you want to believe? I don't have anything to lose. You?