Wednesday

Perfection Paralysis-an ode to my favorite bloggers

To the two of you who have checked my blog over the last several months only to find that nothing new has been added, I apologize.

But I've been sucked into this universe of blogs, and I have loved every minute of it. I have bookmarked more favorites that I can possibly read in a day-believe me I've tried. Blogging, or at least reading others' blogs is truly addicting. Unfortunately I don't need another distraction to feed my procrastination. I am not a disciplined person, and my new blog obsession isn't helping me be productive.

I'll tell you though it's not the vaccuum of time reading that annoys me. I've been thoroughly blessed by the journey of so many amazing women, mothers and families. The most debilitating part of this new addiction is what it does to my good intentions and self-esteem. And I have had good intentions, really good intentions. I even have several entries written and ready to post. Here's my dilemma-I now know the landscape of the world around me.

Now I'm not just the new girl who doesn't know anyone. I know who the cool gals are. I know better than to try and mingle or sit with them. They are too perfect, too polished, too poised for the likes of me. And lest they turn a critical eye my way I'd like to remain as inconspicuous as possible. Hence...no posting. (I know what you're thinking, "No one reads this blog anyway. Why do you care?" I know you are right, but did you ever have trouble walking down the hall in ninth grade because you just knew all those seniors would stop their very important conversations to notice and make fun of you? Of course they never did. They were too busy with their lives to care, but the anxiety weighted heavy on your ninth grade psyche didn't it? That's how I feel.

Great writers must find their voice. That's what I love about the bloggers I read. Lysa is witty and warm with a passion for Scripture that comes through when you least expect it. Marybeth is as real as a cup of coffee and writes in a way that makes me think she could be my friend. Renee's life with two boys helps me dream about my future. BigMama is hilarious yet poignant-sometimes in the same sentence! The Nester is so perfectly imperfect that I'm jealous. She writes her passion with such humor and wisdom that I know she is who she says she is. It's too good to be fake. Lots of Scotts reminds me to see Jesus in everything...what perspective she has, and she's a mother of triplets!

Me? Well I'm still looking for my voice. And I kind of hate to do that in front of all you nice people. But saving my thoughts under file and folder sort of defeats the purpose of having a voice at all. So bear with me. I'm trying to overcome the paralysis of perfection.

We'll chat tomorrow, I promise.
Oh, but make sure you check out Lysa's blog. She's doing a Mr. Linky for all the chicas headed to the SheSpeaks conference in a few weeks. Oh the pressure meeting most of these gals live and in person. I'm sure to have pimple explosion from all the anxiety. And oh heavens, what on earth am I going to wear? I don't have to be perfect; I dont' have to be perfect; I don't have to be perfect.

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10 comments:

Lysa TerKeurst said...

I love your cute blog!!!

I didn't even know you had a blog until I saw your link today. And this post is stinkin' cute.

All of us can relate!

Can't wait to hug your neck and see your cute little self soon...

PENSIEVE said...

Hey cutie...at least Lysa "speaks" to you ;)...I kinda feel self conscious 'cause I've commented to her a BUNCH and I've never heard back from her (as I say that, it's not poor pitiful me AT ALL, just a) did she visit my blog and think "WHAT THE HECK IS SHE TALKIN' ABOUT???" OR b) is she just so busy I'm one of the ones she can't get to....).

Early on, I decided I didn't want my blog to be a "God Blog"...I had read so many of those and they all sounded the same to me (no offense, no offense! I just felt like if I chimed in, I wouldn't be adding anything "new" to the conversation.)

I hoped...prayed...that as I built relationship with people...as life circumstances dictated, my faith would weave naturally into my posts. It really hasn't enough...I got distracted for a season with a community that wasn't "mentoring" me...and I hope to speak more about the very thing that means more to me than ANYTHING.

I guess that should be "the very PERSON"...not "thing" :).

Anyway, SORRY for the ramble...now YOU might be scared to meet me at SheSpeaks! ha! Somehow your "fears" spoke to me, and yeah...I feel like I'm outta my league, too:/.

Praying about that...the comfort zone might feel good, but it's not the best place to live :).

~ Robin
http://pensieve.typepad.com/pensieve/

elaine @ peace for the journey said...

Whitney:
I was one who wondered where you went. I love your writing. And when you find your voice again, I'll be here to listen.

Hope to meet you at She Speaks.

peace~elaine

Sonya said...

Whitney,
You are a precious Woman of God. I know what you mean, though. I too am fairly new to this blogging world and after reading others I can feel inadequate. But then I have to remind myself that God has called me to write. So, all I can do is trust that He will use my writings to reach even one person.

You have a lovely way of writing and I enjoyed this post! So, don't be shy, come on out and write some more.

Hope to see you at She Speaks :)

Valerie said...

I love your blog theme - it's beautiful! And don't worry about feeling like a freshman in a world of seniors; you have a fabulous writing style and you're definitely worthy of the big league. I hope to see you in 3 weeks!

Chatty Kelly said...

I love your blog! (Except woman are you crazy - you liked to have your eyebrows waxed??? OW!!! - hopefully you just like the way they look after the wax).

But I know how you feel. I blogged a similar thing a while back here: http://chattykelly.blogspot.com/2008/05/breaking-my-prideone-blog-at-time.html

Just remember we're all different colors in the prism reflecting God's light. Each color is different but all beautiful.

See you at She Speaks!

Chatty Kelly said...

I love your blog! (Except woman are you crazy - you liked to have your eyebrows waxed??? OW!!! - hopefully you just like the way they look after the wax).

But I know how you feel. I blogged a similar thing a while back here: http://chattykelly.blogspot.com/2008/05/breaking-my-prideone-blog-at-time.html

Just remember we're all different colors in the prism reflecting God's light. Each color is different but all beautiful.

See you at She Speaks!

Amy L Brooke said...

Look forward to meeting you at She Speaks!

Lisa B @ simply His said...

I have -- and am going through -- some of the same fears as you. I read so many great blogs and then I get too down to write myself.

I think we need to keep our focus on God and not other blogs, and maybe limit what we read -- at least until we finish our own writing. Easier said than done like many things :)

Janera said...

Just found your blog today, and I love it! Come and sit with me for a little while!