Monday

"ME"ntal Block

Hi, I'm Whitney, and I'm a wanna-be blogger.

I know I probably shouldn't tell you that, but hey you could look at my post frequency and come to the same conclusion on your own. So, I'll save you the trouble. I'm a poser, a wanna-be.

I just have such a hard time getting stuff out of my noggin and onto this screen. It could be because I have a four year-old, a two year-old and an eight month old...oh, and they're all boys. But come on, any Mom knows you really can't use that excuse. Kids are kids. One is hard when you have one. Two is hard when you have two. Three is hard when you have, well you get the picture. I'm betting that gal on TLC birthing her like, 20th kid would say this ain't no
cakewalk, you know?

So my blogging infrequency isn't really about that. It also can't be for a lack of material because, as previously stated, I've given birth to three boys in four years. My house is some kind of crazy. Hilarity happens on a regular basis. Now I will say that it regularly happens that by the time I sit down to actually blog about said hilarity I can't remember it. Even then, however, that's really only a part of my problem.

I have discovered recently that I am a little freaked out by the whole prospect of blogging. I agree with it in principle and in practice. I love the idea of a cyber community. I love sharing life and offering what little encouragement I can. I love seeing inside another person's world. I love seeing Jesus in the little things that happen in your world and mine.

But putting something down that will likely be "out there" (wherever "out there" is) for all eternity is more than a little intimidating. And everything I read about blogging says that whatever you put out there is a part of your branding, your image. What?! That's like more pressure than high school. I didn't love it the first go round so you can get why I'm more than a little worried about what you think about me.

Does anybody else out there struggle with this? I'm afraid if I write too often or tweet too much then you'll think that I think my life is all that. People in high school thought I was stuck up because I was too insecure to inject myself into random conversations and peer groups. I wanted too be friends with everybody. I just couldn't let myself relax enough to hang out. That's only one tiny part of my problem, but let's move on. I think I'm already at novella status!

Okay so you probably know more about me than you wanted to, and in the unlikely event that anyone is STILL reading, hang with me. I do have a point.

I'm working through my issues because, well, Mommy's don't get to have issues. We're too busy obsessing about the issues we're giving our kids...anywho...

I really do want to hang out with you more often than once a quarter. So I'm just going to try and get over myself. Will you still be my friend? Cause right now I'm a little nervous. I don't even know if I can do this, but I want to. I started blogging because I wanted to share what God was doing in my life with people who might see His activity and be challenged or (God willing) changed by it.

Since I started blogging for reasons that had nothing to do with me, I think I shouldn't not do it because of reasons that are all about me. How egotistical would that be?

So here's my point. What are you not doing because of you? Have you built something up in your head to be bigger than it really is? Are you putting off something God has called you to do because you're freaked out by well, you? Are the messages in your head keeping you from moving forward into what's next? Are you more than a little worried about what other people will think of you?

Let's dive in together. I'm sick of me. You?

Oh, and I WILL see you tomorrow.

post signature

15 comments:

Anonymous said...

So happy to see that you had a new post...I always enjoy your blog...when you are blogging =) I have two girls and I barely have time to read blogs, so it is totally understandable that with 3 very young boys you would have trouble finding the time to post. I will be reading whenever you do!!

sweettea said...

My problem is I'd rather read them than write them. :)

Deanna said...

Consistent blogging seems to be beyond me, too. It seems like the computer is such a drain on my time. I don't have a clue about interacting with other bloggers. That whole being social thing is so hard for me!!! How does one find time to read and comment on other blogs? Besides if only a couple of people read my blog, then if I don't post nobody cares!! I know, I know what a sick cycle!!!!

Theresa Anderson said...

Whitney,
loved your post...and can relate! Welcome back to cyber world - Your blogging sequel will be a blockbuster :)
God Bless

Anonymous said...

Girl, I'm so glad you're back. I've been missing you.

Leigh said...

Whitney!!!!! So glad you are here! I'm catching up with my bloggers and my P31 sisters. I know what you mean, I get a little freaked out as well and my blogging comes and goes as well. Sometimes it's a bit overwhelming. Let's do it together darling. Love you and I think you are stupendously awesome. Grins.

Kim said...

I love this post - I relate to it completely (minus the kids). I too am cautious about what I post, and was the same in high school. I am having trouble getting myself out of my own way to allow God to work through me. I see improvement, but then fall back to the comfort zone that I now dislike. I want to do more, be more, and give more, but am struggling to get myself out of the way! Thanks for the posts.

Shawn said...

Hi Whitney,

So glad you got outta the way..lol, I really enjoy your post.. I look forward to hearing from you!

Anonymous said...

Thanks for the post. I have read other P31 bloggers, but this is the first time I have stumbled upon yours (which I believe is no accident). I love it!! Mother of three myself, I can so relate. I am not letting myself have a good friend. I struggle with letting people see the real me. I'm afraid they won't like me. It's really silly, and I want to be over it. Thanks again for your post.

marie said...

I also had 3 boys 15 months apart. I am now a grandmother of 6five of them girls. I call them the jewels in my crown. Hang in there the rewards are great. Jesus will sustain you through all the pooh! I will try to keep in touch with you as I can relate to you. Bless you!

Anonymous said...

Whitney,
I love your post! This is the first time I have visited and I can completely relate. I have spent much of my life watching from the sidelines because of my insecurities.God is really working on me to step out in faith and get over myself and my doubts. Thanks for your encouraging words!

Addie's Mommy said...

I am new to this sight...I mean like I just stumbled across it while reading one of those mommy blogs by women who are all crafty, creative, mommy of the year types (who I secretly want to be like, but am missing the crafty gene). Anyways, I love this post and I am really looking forward to reading more from you! You write like I think....random, funny with stuff that makes you sit back and go, wow! Thanks for sharing, b/c I really needed this today. God bless you and your crazy munchkin filled day!

Tamera said...

I really appreciate your honesty and openness. This is the first time reading your blog and I enjoyed it and I can relate because I have 3 boys now aged 11, 9 & 4. They are now all in school. I have been a stay at home mom for awhile now and since they are all in school, I am trying to find something to do with my life. I can't find a job (seems odd to me) and I just registered in college to finish college. I recently created my own blog as well and I am faced with the same concerns and insecurities as you. I believe it is the beginning of my ministry of encouraging and witnessing to people. I don't have any money so I figured, what do I have to give to bless and help others? I can encourage others. Come by sometime at www.youmakelife.blogspot.com

Melissa said...

Today is the first day I've read your blog ... and I have to say I love it. It's actually nice to know that there are real moms out there that aren't perfect (loved the potty training post - I'm dealing with that myself)! Go where GOD leads you - I needed the reminder to get over myself and just do what HE says. Who cares how much you post ... post a lot or little - we can't spend our lives here on earth worrying what the woman watching us think.

Keep up the good work! I'll be back for more great reads!!

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